Kashmiri Pandits: obsessions with Grammar and History

By A Pandit-Watcher

As a community, Kashmiri Pandits are a race apart. They have suffered much historical persecution. This has affected their personality. Few traits remain peculiar to them. Among these are acerbic wit, humour and obsessions with grammar and history. There are interesting anecdotes on all these. Whenever Pandits do not agree, in disgust they remark 'Bata Khyav Graimrun' (Pandit has obsession with grammar). There is an interesting story behind this. In 1931, during the turbulent days of the political upheaval, Pandit members of Yuvak Sabha had a lively correspondence with Mahatma Gandhi. These members 'detected' a grammatical mistake in one of the letters, written by the father of the nation. They went to Master Zind Koul, the renowned teacher, who had command over the English language, to confirm. He told them there was no mistake of grammer in Mahatma's letter. Still, these Pandits wrote to Gandhi that he had written incorrect grammer. He replied, "This letter is correct to the fitness of grammer". Since then Pandits often taunt one another : "Bata Khyav Graimrun".

The British Member of Parliament, Kaufmann was on a visit to camps of Pandit refugees in mid-nineties. He visited many camps to know at first hand the plight of Pandits in exile. Kaufmann was probably moved by their plight. It was in Purkhu camp, that he decided to inquire about the reasons which led to the ethnic-cleansing of Pandits. An articulate camp inmate volunteered to answer his query. May be, he had done his ground work well. Kaufmann, who had just an hour to spend in the camp, asked him to narrate what reasons forced the exodus. The camp inmate began his presentation by journeying back into medieval history. He elaborated on persecution of Pandits, during the times of Sikandar Butshikan in fourteenth century, for  nearly forty minutes. Before he could come to the present exodus, Kaufmann shot the last question, "Did Sikander Butshikan belong to Hizbul Mujahideen". Journalists politicians and bureaucrats have often complained .. displaced Pandits have not been able to that put across their sufferings. One may wonder, whether lack of appreciation about Pandits' genocide by the powers that be, is partly due to Pandits' obsession with history.

The left politics, for various reasons, after mid-sixties failed to inspire Kashmiris. A friend, who was a fellow-traveller, found his own ingenious explanation to explain the apathy of Kashmiris towards Left politics. He argued that whenever he tried to take up the question of 'Land to the Tiller", people would scoff at him. They would tell him the proposition was irrational, and say "If land to the tiller, Why not food to the cook and cloth to the tailor". In 1990 this fellow traveller joined the other members of his community in exodus. He possesses superb-wit. That time Jammu was unaffected by terrorist violence. With all seriousness, this friend one day said, "ISI had made deep penetration into Jammu". When he was asked to explain, he said every item of hardware had ISI marking. He suggested ISI needed to be replaced by something more patriotic. Another acquaintance who had remained in thick of politics in early fifties narrated an interesting episode. During the Peace Conference campaigns, the local left held many rallies denouncing US imperialism. One of the rallies was held near the Jehlum bund, to sensitise Boatmen to dangers of US imperialism. The rally leaders warned boatmen that Americans would swarm soon into Kashmir. The boatmen evinced much interest. The leaders thought they had carried the day and probably the message had gone home. At the end of the meeting, one of the boatmen came forward and asked a leader, "when were the Americans likely to come. It is a good development and will boost our tourist business".

Late DP Dhar had built a strong reputation of being an avid reader. At the Bar, where he practised law he would boast of having read every latest arrival. His colleagues had a feeling that Dhar was not speaking facts. One day, they decided to puncture the lie. When he came to attend the Bar, they decided to lay a trap for him. They told him a new book had arrived. Its title was "The King walks into the trap". DP said he had read the book only the previous night. They, then told him there was no title like that. DP Dhar, the 'King' walked into the trap.  

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